PJ Dennehey: Backwards harmonica, Staff Writer
Jimmy Chamberlin: Oh God, music is so powerful!
Paul Dando: Merch whore
Jeff Elbel: Supreme Overlord of That Little Corner over There
Benjamin Ellis: Beverage wholesaler
Tim Friese-Greene: Therapist
Brian Futter: The only ginger deity in the Western world
Dave Hawes: Lab assistant
Merck Mercuriadis: Hairball
Gerry Moylan: Who?
Dick Robinson: Resident piñata
Neil Sims: Banananananans
Storm Thorgerson: Bookseller
Warren Zevon: Bad influence
John Kalodner: John Kalodner
I Can’t Believe It’s Not Futter is a work of fiction based very loosely on the lives of the non-fictional UK band The Catherine Wheel. These pages are to be taken as examples of irony and satire. We also reserve the right to use subtle humor. If, in the course of doing so, we employ humor so subtle that it does not register on your personal radar, we encourage you to adjust your settings.
This site is intended for amusement only. Whether or not you are actually amused by it is another matter altogether.
PS: Merck is not dead. Yet.